Baby Boomer Blog #8 (The recession vs the inner child)

I got my income tax refund today. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was a lot more than I am used to having at any one time. I am what I like to call pseudo rich.

The first glance at my account balance made me giddy. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Please pardon the cliché, but that is exactly how I felt.

Oh, the dreams that went through my mind! I saw myself in that mansion I always dreamed I’d own if I ever earned that million dollars. I would walk down the spiral staircase in that gown made of Chinese silk brocade in my favorite royal purple with the silver butterflies stitched on it by hand. My servants would lead me out to my Rolls Royce and off I’d Go to the opening of the Grand Poets Museum, a project that came into fruition from my donations. I would rise out of my car to the fireworks of flashbulbs as I posed for the Paparazzi.

It was a very happy dream.

But those kinds of dreams usually end when the adult (or reality) takes over. Truth is, I was afraid to even file my taxes this year. I didn’t work that much. Because of the recession, I was on unemployment for a good part of the time, and I was afraid that it would mean I was going to pay instead. The few hundred dollars that I got was a very pleasant surprise.

I wasn’t disappointed, but the rush to figure out what to do with it was on. I am way behind on a lot of things since I haven’t had the income that I am used to having, and the decision of what to choose and what to leave is a real head rush. I could buy a car if I can find one cheap enough. I can replace my dying computer, which is something that would be a real blessing to me. After all, it’s hard to try to become a paid writer and poet when your equipment is down as often as mine. I can pay off some debts that have been hanging around. Oh, what to do!

The important thing is not to get so caught up in this that it freezes up my decision making process forever.

The even more important thing is to be happy.